the “crappiest” hour

Well, at least they don’t call it something it’s not.  Dick’s Last Resort’s “crappy hour” (their words, not mine) is exactly that.  This place has always intrigued me because I can’t understand why anyone would pay to be treated badly.

The wait staff is just as irreverent as you’ve heard and it begins at the front door (no, really, it does!)  The front door says “push” when you’re meant to pull – and the hostess laughs at you for pushing.  The regulars here aren’t even really regulars so much as “irregulars”, there are bras on the bar, and it’s very loud.

The drinks are really weak and it takes forever to get another.  At one point, I had to actually yell at my waiter to get him back to our table.  When he brought my drink I asked for a water and got the response, “You should have asked my black ass for a water when you ordered your other drink!”

Positives:  The food is cheap, even without the weekly special, and they portions are huge – try the gator bites and the onion rings.  The bathrooms are extremely clean.  The restaurant is quite large and there is plenty of seating, a patio, and a smoking patio.

I’m not going to rate this one because it’s not the kind of place I’d choose to spend my time, but if a purposefully rude staff is what you’re into … it’s great to grab a bite and a drink (heck, get 7!) here before a game at the AA center so you only have to pay for parking twice.

Drink stength:  1

Overall:  ??

Dick’s Last Resort
www.dickslastresort.com
2211 North Lamar Street
(214) 747-0001

Specials:
Monday-Friday | 4-7 p.m. | 1/2 price apps, $3 wells, $2.50 domestic pints, $3.75 margaritas, $4 wine

mai-tai one on – CLOSED

It’s been years since I’ve been into Trader Vic’s, Dallas’s very own retro-fitted tiki bar.  A reader suggested I grab a few of the Tuesday $3 mai-tais for which Trader Vic’s is very well known.

After only two … I was festive (and for a good reason, there are 3 shots of liquor in each one!).

The Mai Tais at Trader Vic’s aren’t for the weak of heart, nor are any of the other fruity concoctions that the bar whips up.  Each drink is incredibly different with a unique glass and an equally as unique name (cite the Chi Chi, Navy Grog, Kamaaina, etc.).  If my liver could take it, I would love nothing more than to spend a week at that bar trying each drink.  The Mai Tai even comes in three different  flavors: rum, vodka, and tequila (which tastes like a fruity margarita).

To keep my composure, I ordered the crab rangoons which were incredibly savory (the mu shu my neighbor got was equally as good).

The bar got quite crowded but we noticed the restaurant was almost empty… even Elvis’s booth, #40, was empty (when he came to Dallas he would always request booth 40 because it can be seen from the door).  While the institution isn’t as crowded as it was in ‘67 when it opened originally in the Hilton Hotel with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, and Elvis, it’s still nice to gather around the bar that Old Blue Eyes frequented.  (Read more about the history … it’s enthralling!)

Drink strength:  4.5
Overall:  4

Trader Vic’s
www.tradervicsdallas.com
5330 East Mockingbird Lane
(214) 823-0600

Specials:
Monday-Friday | 4-7 p.m. | $5 Mai Tais, Bahias, Zombies, crab rangoons, and mu shu pork
Tuesday | all night | $3 Mai Tais

soFISHtication in deep ellum

St. Pete’s is the kind of place that I would want to one of the “regulars”.  Pete, the owner but not the namesake, actually works behind the bar … and you can tell how much he loves what he does and has since it opened 16 years ago.  St. Pete’s is named for the patron saint of fisherman, St. Peter (I guess that explains the 61 fish hanging from the rafters, walls, and doors).

Pete was quick with a joke and a drink, he even squeezes the limes FOR you – what customer service saving my hands from becoming sticky and pulpy from my limes – and each drink comes with a real marlin swizzle stick.

The food is good – definitely try the chicken strips!  The drinks are pretty strong … my sister was a little questionable after her first drink that is now affectionately called “The Alice” (which is good because I can’t see Pete serving one of the regulars something called a “Pretty Pink Princess Majesty” (tequila and pineapple).

There is a secret free parking lot behind the place complete with a back entrance into the awesomely huge patio area.  This place has plenty of seating, big TVs, and purse hooks (yes!).  The regulars were men you’d expect to see hanging out at a bar and some of the other patrons had mohawks and tattoos … and then there was the cute guy at the bar dressed to the nines with really nice shoes on.

As Pete’s business card states about St. Pete’s Dancing Marlin, “It is what it is.”

Drink strength: 4
Overall: 3

St Pete’s Dancing Marlin
www.dancingmarlin.com
2730 Commerce Street
Dallas, TX 75226-1404
(214) 698-1511

Special:
Monday-Friday | 4-7 p.m. | $0.75-$1 off all drinks

nobu

So I’m going to shoot straight with you … I don’t make tons of money (though my shoe collection may convince some otherwise).  If I did, I would dine at Nobu as often as possible.  I haven’t ever had anything but a great experience there and the food and drinks are always spot on.  After my last visit, I can rest assured that the next time I crave a good sake martini and rock shrimp, I can indulge myself without too much guilt at Nobu.

Nobu recently instituted ”Nobu Night” on Wednesday nights and it’s quite a doozy.  $6 appetizers (decent portions), $7 specialty martinis, and $4 beers.  Yes, this is the classy side of 75, so you should expect to pay a bit more … and it’s Nobu.  At these prices, can you ignore your practical side for a night and not regret it the next morning.

When you walk in, the staff will greet you in a badly-timed unison of “ishayamasai” or “welcome” and the mood is sultry but energized.  The decor is quite interesting with fake trees lining the far side of the restaurant and large columns throughout the dining area.

Make sure you get there at on the early side of happy hour because once the dinner crowd arrives, the wait staff gets a bit manic and the span between your drinks causes you to sober up and reconsider ordering another.  But then again, Nobu isn’t the place for a quick drink, but the kind of place you go expecting a few hours of strong drinks and three rounds of appetizers and put your people watching hat on.

The clientele is a blast to watch.  You see the businessmen sitting alone at the bar after a long day of work in the Crescent Towers and the older couples coming in for a quick bite of heaven before going to bed.  You’ll also see the typical Dallas crowd filter in as it gets later … I usually slip out before they arrive!

Definitely spoil yourself and try their Nobu Night … your stomach will thank you, though your liver may not.

Drink strength: 3.5
Overall: 4

Nobu
www.noburestaurants.com
400 Crescent Court | Dallas, TX 75201-1838 (Inside the Crescent Hotel)
(214) 252-7000

Specials:
Monday, Tuesday & Friday | 5-7 p.m. | all beers $4.00, all Signature cocktails $7, select appetizers $6
Wednesday & Thursday | 5-10 p.m. | all beers $4.00, all Signature cocktails $7, select appetizers $6
Sunday | 50% all bottled wine $100 or less

Breakfast is for dull people. Brunch is for the fun people that didn’t get enough the night before.

SusieO

on a high note …

Stan’s Blue Note is right around the corner from my friend’s house … so needless to say, I’m there a lot.  Stan’s is so much fun because, as often as I’m there, I still run into new people and new flamboyant characters and no night there is ever the same.  If you are a usual here, you know that the management has changed.  The jury’s still out on how that will change the place, but I know the former owner’s presence is missed.

Drinks aren’t too expensive and they are pretty strong and can inspire a pretty damn good night.  I can say with confidence that some of the best nights I’ve had lately  have been here.  (You have to watch out for the flying eggs, though.  One night I got smacked in the face with an egg a motorcyclist threw while driving by … SO not cool.  My valiant friends tried to chase him but didn’t have any luck.)

The food at Stan’s is surprisingly good – try the chicken fried steak with jalepeno gravy or the buffalo chicken sandwich (not on the menu but you MUST try it!).  Portions are HUGE – consider sharing with a friend.

High NOTES (bad pun, I know): varied clientele, good location, shuffleboard and Big Buck Hunter!, Tuesday nights
Low notes: not-so-nice bathrooms

Drink strength: 4
Overall: 2.5

Stan’s Blue Note
2908 Greenville Avenue | Dallas, TX 75206-6241
(214) 827-1977

Specials:
Monday-Friday | 11 a.m. -7 p.m. | $1 off everything

Tuesday | 7 p.m. – close | $2.00 Crown and Down
Thursday | 7 p.m. – close | $2.50 draft night
Saturday-Sunday | til 10 p.m. | $2.50 domestic drafts, $9 domestic pitchers, $4 mimosas and bloody mary’s (only when there are NFL or college games on)